Sunday, 27 February 2011

Poetry Bus Poem


TFI is driving the emergency bus this week. I took the prompt from the photo above. This is an extract from a longer poem. (I have a lot of material)

Go here for other passengers.

Thanks for your lovely comments. Taken down now for rework
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19 comments:

  1. Unknown27 February 2011 at 21:16

    Stark and honest. Great response to the prompt photo. And so nice pf you to link back the way you did.

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  2. Padhraig Nolan27 February 2011 at 22:17

    :-DDDD

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  3. The Blog of Bee27 February 2011 at 22:48

    I think this is brilliant - I can identify!

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  4. Helen27 February 2011 at 23:29

    OMG ~ this is fantastic. Must confess to having done a few of those things. (you are right about air on the buttocks)

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  5. Peter Goulding28 February 2011 at 10:02

    OMG - tell me that you never drank Cinzano!!!
    Brilliant last line captures it perfectly. Must try a poem like this myself.

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  6. Louise28 February 2011 at 11:27

    I want to read the longer version! Shockingly wonderful.

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  7. Totalfeckineejit28 February 2011 at 13:23

    Brilliant Kate!

    'guys you wouldn’t understand the freedom of night air on the buttocks'

    Classic!

    Make that into a Haiku and I will resign as president of PAH!(Poets Against Haiku)

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  8. Jinksy28 February 2011 at 13:50

    Good lord! Never know so much could pack into 14 lines!

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  9. Donna OShaughnessy28 February 2011 at 18:41

    I myself...while hammered
    stayed out all night then gave a presentation to 200 nurses about pain control
    played vollyball with Bill Murray in my head I think
    jumped up and down on the hood
    of a Jaguar with my best gay friend all dressed in drag
    smoked a joint with my mother. Once PS I miss you mom

    Thnaks for the memories. Don't tell my three grandchildren

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  10. Niamh B28 February 2011 at 18:56

    Haha, brilliant, can identify with a lot of this. The only thing I would have added would be "continued arguing long after the other person has fallen asleep"
    Love the ending especially

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  11. Emerging Writer28 February 2011 at 19:53

    Thanks everyone. There's so much material to distill here (oh, poteen?)
    Am relieved about the consensus of air on buttocks too! (helen, tfe)

    Peter, yes. Also Creme de menthe

    Donna - your wonderful secrets are safe here

    Niamh - that's spot on, may have to incorporate

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  12. portable toilet guy1 March 2011 at 12:13

    Hello from portable toilet land. Girls, I think you're clutching at straws with the air on the buttocks thing. You're basically trying to find a fun equivalent for peeing high up a wall, over a bridge into a river, writing your initials in snow etc etc. Face it, it's just not as good! :) PS great fun poem though.

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  13. The Bug2 March 2011 at 17:04

    I've never been drunk & I can see that I'm missing QUITE a lot :)

    I'm one of those annoying people who doesn't like to be around my friends when they're drunk. I like them how they are, not the loud obnoxious, overly friendly people they become. I know, I'm a party pooper!

    Drunk strangers on the other hand, are marvelous things to behold.

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  14. Emerging Writer2 March 2011 at 18:43

    portable toilet guy, thanks for dropping by. I can write my initials in the snow... You've nearly a poem there yourself!

    Bug, "Drunk strangers on the other hand, are marvelous things to behold."
    That is so true. From a distance.

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  15. Dr. Jeanne Iris3 March 2011 at 16:46

    ah yes! That line about the buttocks in the open air is perfect fodder for a haiku.

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  16. Emerging Writer3 March 2011 at 19:05

    Can last no longer
    Guys, you wouldn't understand
    Night air on buttocks

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  17. Kat Mortensen4 March 2011 at 16:24

    God, this was great! I was nodding my head through all of it (I only wish I'd been on that train to Belfast). I haven't done the pee thing (that I know of), but I've kissed a few Canadians while drunk - and some other nationalities too!

    As a Canadian myself, I'd just like to say, you can kiss me (when we're drunk) anytime!

    The last line is oh so good!

    Kat

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  18. Kat Mortensen4 March 2011 at 16:26

    I just visited Portable Toilet Guy's site and it's crap! *kidding

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  19. Emerging Writer4 March 2011 at 20:57

    Thanks Kat. Canadian views always welcome here!

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