Sunday, 27 February 2011

Poetry Bus Poem


TFI is driving the emergency bus this week. I took the prompt from the photo above. This is an extract from a longer poem. (I have a lot of material)

Go here for other passengers.

Thanks for your lovely comments. Taken down now for rework

19 comments:

Kim Nelson said...

Stark and honest. Great response to the prompt photo. And so nice pf you to link back the way you did.

Padhraig Nolan said...

:-DDDD

Bee's Blog said...

I think this is brilliant - I can identify!

Helen said...

OMG ~ this is fantastic. Must confess to having done a few of those things. (you are right about air on the buttocks)

Peter Goulding said...

OMG - tell me that you never drank Cinzano!!!
Brilliant last line captures it perfectly. Must try a poem like this myself.

120 Socks said...

I want to read the longer version! Shockingly wonderful.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Brilliant Kate!

'guys you wouldn’t understand the freedom of night air on the buttocks'

Classic!

Make that into a Haiku and I will resign as president of PAH!(Poets Against Haiku)

Jinksy said...

Good lord! Never know so much could pack into 14 lines!

Donna OShaughnessy said...

I myself...while hammered
stayed out all night then gave a presentation to 200 nurses about pain control
played vollyball with Bill Murray in my head I think
jumped up and down on the hood
of a Jaguar with my best gay friend all dressed in drag
smoked a joint with my mother. Once PS I miss you mom

Thnaks for the memories. Don't tell my three grandchildren

Niamh B said...

Haha, brilliant, can identify with a lot of this. The only thing I would have added would be "continued arguing long after the other person has fallen asleep"
Love the ending especially

Emerging Writer said...

Thanks everyone. There's so much material to distill here (oh, poteen?)
Am relieved about the consensus of air on buttocks too! (helen, tfe)

Peter, yes. Also Creme de menthe

Donna - your wonderful secrets are safe here

Niamh - that's spot on, may have to incorporate

portable toilet guy said...

Hello from portable toilet land. Girls, I think you're clutching at straws with the air on the buttocks thing. You're basically trying to find a fun equivalent for peeing high up a wall, over a bridge into a river, writing your initials in snow etc etc. Face it, it's just not as good! :) PS great fun poem though.

The Bug said...

I've never been drunk & I can see that I'm missing QUITE a lot :)

I'm one of those annoying people who doesn't like to be around my friends when they're drunk. I like them how they are, not the loud obnoxious, overly friendly people they become. I know, I'm a party pooper!

Drunk strangers on the other hand, are marvelous things to behold.

Emerging Writer said...

portable toilet guy, thanks for dropping by. I can write my initials in the snow... You've nearly a poem there yourself!

Bug, "Drunk strangers on the other hand, are marvelous things to behold."
That is so true. From a distance.

Jeanne Iris said...

ah yes! That line about the buttocks in the open air is perfect fodder for a haiku.

Emerging Writer said...

Can last no longer
Guys, you wouldn't understand
Night air on buttocks

Kat Mortensen said...

God, this was great! I was nodding my head through all of it (I only wish I'd been on that train to Belfast). I haven't done the pee thing (that I know of), but I've kissed a few Canadians while drunk - and some other nationalities too!

As a Canadian myself, I'd just like to say, you can kiss me (when we're drunk) anytime!

The last line is oh so good!

Kat

Kat Mortensen said...

I just visited Portable Toilet Guy's site and it's crap! *kidding

Emerging Writer said...

Thanks Kat. Canadian views always welcome here!