Thursday, 26 March 2009

Handy Hints on how not to handle an agent


Read 'em and weep. Sure fire ways to get ignored/rejected/laughed at by an agent.

- I know that I have attached a file, but please have a read even though it’s against your policy.
- I’M TYPING MY QUERY IN ALL CAPS SO YOU WILL BE SURE TO NOTICE IT.
- Including a creepy photo of you clearly taken about 20 years ago? You have just taken your first step on the road to QueryFail.
- Dear Agent, here are 25 books I’ve written, do you want any of them?
- It is not necessary to include a glossy 8×10 headshot. No, really.

(Which contradicts another piece of advice I read)

- My credentials for writing this book include: A divine mandate to speak the word of God.
- The best credentials I can share are the comments from my family and friends after they read my book.
- This is not representative of my best work.
- This is my first attempt at writing a fictional novel.
- Tragically initiated into a secret panther-worshipping society…
- It’s about unicorns. They’re the protagonists.
- My name is Maya and I’m an elf.
- I’ve been rejected by three other publishers who said my work was interesting.
- I’ve queried more than 50 agents and have gotten nowhere and now I’m querying you.

2 comments:

Lily Sheehan said...

I'd like to think I wouldn't ever say anything like that but it worries me that some people would. I'll be sure to avoid all of the above

KAREN said...

You can hardly believe these things really happen!