Read 'em and weep. Sure fire ways to get ignored/rejected/laughed at by an agent.
- I know that I have attached a file, but please have a read even though it’s against your policy.
- I’M TYPING MY QUERY IN ALL CAPS SO YOU WILL BE SURE TO NOTICE IT.
- Including a creepy photo of you clearly taken about 20 years ago? You have just taken your first step on the road to QueryFail.
- Dear Agent, here are 25 books I’ve written, do you want any of them?
- It is not necessary to include a glossy 8×10 headshot. No, really.
(Which contradicts another piece of advice I read)
- My credentials for writing this book include: A divine mandate to speak the word of God.
- The best credentials I can share are the comments from my family and friends after they read my book.
- This is not representative of my best work.
- This is my first attempt at writing a fictional novel.
- Tragically initiated into a secret panther-worshipping society…
- It’s about unicorns. They’re the protagonists.
- My name is Maya and I’m an elf.
- I’ve been rejected by three other publishers who said my work was interesting.
- I’ve queried more than 50 agents and have gotten nowhere and now I’m querying you.
2 comments:
I'd like to think I wouldn't ever say anything like that but it worries me that some people would. I'll be sure to avoid all of the above
You can hardly believe these things really happen!
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