Wednesday, 9 May 2012

What not to say (please)

Other things you hear:
  • I'm on a roll. I wrote 5 poems today - but they're not very good yet
  • I average 10 pages a day - but they're not very good yet
  • Oh that novel's on the back burner now, not quite finished. I'm starting a new one - you have to finish a novel to get it published
  • I thought, I can write better than ...(fill in the blanks here) - but they did it first
  • I mean, how hard can it be? - very
  • My mum/kids/best friend loves it and she/they/he reads a lot - unless they work in publishing, this doesn't help
  • I have the cover sorted already - not going to happen, unless you self publish
  • I was thinking Ashton Kushter for the lead when they make it into a film - yeah right
  • What does an agent do for you anyway? - quite a lot
  • I was never any good at spelling. I let the spellchecker/grammar checker handle that for me - eh no.
  • The editor can fix the punctuation, that's what they're for, right? - eh no
  • It's Twilight meets Upstairs Downstairs meets The Artist - no it's not
  • How much of an advance should I expect?- very very little for a first time novelist, nothing for a poetry collection
  • I've given up the day job -  please no
  • No I don't ever read any modern poetry - how can you write it then?
  • No I don't read in the genre I'm writing in - how can you write it then?
  • I've finished it today. Can I email it to you? - eh no
  • I know the rules said 2,000 words but they're only guidelines. 3,000 is fine. - No it's not
Any to add?!


Guilie said...

Hahahahahaha.... Brilliant! "How hard can it be?" is priceless. One I heard from a real-life published (self) author was "I always hated reading. Only started reading last year, when I started writing." Yeah... Not good.

Excellent post!

Claire Hennessy said...

Anything to do with editing! "I think you can edit too much." (Yeah. Happens all the time with first-time writers. *Never* happens that they edit too little, no sirree.)

Emerging Writer said...

Thanks Guilie - you hear some of these too often

Emerging Writer said...

Painfully true, Claire!