Sunday, 16 May 2010

I'm on Barbara's Poetry Bus


The driver this week is Barbara from her blog here. She gave us the first line, suggested long lines and bid us take a seat. I haven't been on many buses recently. Sorry. Too slow. Too lazy. Too busy. Take your pick.

I got down on my knees and smelled the new linoleum
- sour apples and sun warmed sheets. I lay in the light

that streamed through the kitchen window
like an old testament revelation. From here I could see

cirrus clouds sketch the sky and green tips of the Cecil oak;
I could hear the mistle thrush and thrum of wood pigeons

but I couldn’t see the bog road’s heat shimmer
blurring the grey line that draws away.

17 comments:

Argent said...

Ooh, this is lovely! I was really drawn into your world and really like the slightly enigmatic "draws away".

WOMEN RULE WRITER said...

Beautiful poem, Kate. Very evocative. Love it.

Titus said...

I, too, liked the transporting - you took me to your place completely. And these lines;

...I lay in the light
that streamed through the kitchen window
like an old testament revelation.

which just, on the re-read, presage that stunning finish. Loved the last two lines.

Niamh B said...

I like the old testament revelation, and yes, very cool ending.

Emerging Writer said...

Thanks everyone for your kind comments. I may have to go and lie down on the kitchen floor for a while

Totalfeckineejit said...

Loved the things you could see /hear and the enigma of the thing you couldn't. Fabsy.

Peter Goulding said...

Love the cirrus clouds sketching the sky. And those killer last lines!

Pure Fiction said...

Brilliant finish with those last two lines.

Poetikat said...

Oh, also liked the Cecil/mistle rhyme and the "thrum of the pigeons.

Poetikat said...

"sour apples and sun-warmed sheets" That is really nice. The lying in the light was unexpected for me, but believable. I thought the old testament line was excellent.

Kat

Bill said...

Strikingly simple! Like it - especially the light streaming "like an old testament revelation".

Enchanted Oak said...

I liked lying on the floor that smells of sour apples and sunny sheets. Despite the peace in the first three stanzas, there's powerful sorrow in the final lines.

The Bug said...

Love this - it seems so calm & magical - with just that hint that you need to calm the desire to run away...

the watercats said...

enigmatic on a stick! :-D
Loved reading this, like being transported bak to a childhood that wasn't mine...

Jeanne Iris said...

Love the imagery here!

"I lay in the light that streamed through the kitchen window like an old testament revelation." ~ Beautiful!

Jessica Maybury said...

you had me at mistle thrush.

Karen said...

Sorry to get here so late, but want to tell you that this is lovely in all sorts of ways.