Like many I found this hard. From Bill the Bus Driver to chop up sentences something like runner beans.
My sentence was from a short story by Kevin Barry from There Are Little Kingdoms. Have you read it? You should. (do you think it is coincidence that the initials spell out TALK?)
Foley wrapped his soft hand around the boy's and then ...
He gobs on the tarmac, missing at his dusty brogues,
squeezes until the boy’s fingerbones clatter like chopsticks in the drawer,
He pretends not to notice the tears that splash into the canal,
leans back and unpeels the other hand from the barrier,
bending the pinkie back until it snaps.
He holds on tight and they jump.
12 comments:
Oh my lord, that is rather brutal, but that's not to say it isn't good, it is! The small details in there - the realism of the gob and the fingerbones and the snapped pinkie (shudder). Wow.
Kat
P.S. I've adjusted the template, so I hope you'll come back and read.
Kate - I don't know what happened, by Blogger ate your comment. So if you come back and you don't see it, that's why.
Thanks though! (Who knows? It may reappear.)
Kat
It's a very sad poem I think, and pretty brutal... twas a toughie alright, and yep - loved that collection KB is the man!
man!.. this is fairly heavy, in a beautifully articulated way.. wasn't expecting the ending, the brutality of it is quite gorgeous!
Oh, my God! <-- That's what I actually said aloud when I finished reading this. That's still my reaction, but I agree with everything Kat said.
Dark, disturbing and very good.
This was definitely a challenge of two halves - those that rose, and those that, well, sank.
You got rather high with this one.
So much detail in the fingers. Terrifying and horribly sad.
x
Grim! Cinematic.
I didn't get aboard myself this time. Found the prompt tricky, but rewarding, in that I now have half-a-poem I didn't have before. Might be waiting a while for the other half to surface though :-/
Golly - scary stuff this. Hope you will be at the bus stop next Monday when I am driving.
My God, Kate, but there's a brutal streak in you! The finger snapping sends shudders...
Brutal, disturbing - it's nice to read poetry the doesn't do what people usually expect it to do.
This brought tears to my eyes. Magnificently crafted!
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