Monday, 8 March 2010

Poem for the TFE Poetry bus

Here's one for TFE's Poetry bus, theme is trains. This is a Work in Progress and I'll be taking it down later to rework.

(It's taken down for rework)

10 comments:

Totalfeckineejit said...

Nice one EW, a trip I made many a time as a kid in the days of suitcases, with metal handles and corners, that were heavier than a hod of bricks and no seats on the boat train and sick as a dog on the eternal boat and sicker than a sick dog on the crowded bus down to the country.
Happy days!

swiss said...

i really want to see where you go with this. the silver surfer in birmingham!? that's a winner for me every time!

Peter Goulding said...

Yes, I can relate to this also! Seemed to take an eternity. And going the other way, being herded through a shed in case you were a terrorist!
"We sudden on the outskirts" Is that deliberate or a typo?
Love the eyelid blinds!

Niamh B said...

Love the grey vest sky and sooty horses in this

:)

NanU said...

mmm, yeah, who'd'a thunk it? Surprising what you can see from the train. Sounds just like the 5:58 from here to Paris, with all the awkward sleeping businesspeople.

Argent said...

"The sky has woken a weary grey, an over-washed vest." Loved that! Amnd the silver surfer, like a flash of silver in the dull hues of the rest of it, great stuff!

Domestic Oub said...

Loved the blinds line :)

Wasn't expecting the sudden appearnace of the silver surfer though! (despite giveaway pic...)

Titus said...

I really enjoyed the coupling of the mundane with the unexpected, and there are some very beautiful lines in the poem. I like both you and the Silver Surfer as observers.
Was the Silver Surfer always good? I found his otherworld certainity a little above good/evil in human terms.

Also reminds me of the incongruity of things you do see on train journeys. I went past Stratford the day they were putting the roof on the Olympic Aquatic Centre (which is sports-speak for swimming pool, I think) and was transfixed.

Poetikat said...

I really liked, "We sudden on the outskirts". I wanted to be on your train; it was a welcoming kind of feeling that I got from this.

Pure Fiction said...

All these slumbering commuters (bar one)unaware that while they sleep the silver surfer is keeping an eye on their world from a rooftop somewhere in Birmingham. Like it.